I hate this and I might possibly hate you[possibly because hate is a strong word but right now that's the a word I am obligated to use]
YOu don't see you have never seen the extent of things from my end EVER and that's sad. I just want to beat on your chest right now and make you feel it like I do[have]
Make you see this pool I sit on following[from me]

Fuck you and you and you and you...


Have you ever witnessed the loyalty switch when your friends be the person you can trust and depend on but once they make new alliances. Their friendly requirements to you mean shit to them....Its some horridly funny shit.

I keep nothing from you NOTHING not a fucking single thing because so far that's what I thought I have been getting from you but shit... if this is how we play it why should I put my self out there when I don't get the same treatment back. What changed now that you don't tell me shit when I asked straight up....what changed?
YOu know the extent of things me and you share but I am starting to doubt you... I have been for a bit now but shit this was a form of confirmation for me.


And You, I would be like I am in the above but like I said why should I be opening up to people and being my ultimate self to someone who isn't there. Who doesn't appreciate what right there[ in front of you]. Like I said a long time ago what shit difference does it make that you are trying to make friends if you ain't really trying to keep[treating] the ones you have right then?

Out here, every time my instincts told me something it has followed through and on point too. So don't sit here and tell me my instincts are wrong. I might be being paranoid but my paranoia is dead on point too so don't fucking lie to me I fucking hate lies or liars[makes me a hypocrite] but If you were truly and honest with me that's what you would have got. I hold back because the one, two, three times I asked for the truth so understandingly you lied to me. You told me to my face I was imagining and seeing things in a different light when really you have just been switching up on me. SO don't get mad that I am treating you the way I am because you deserve it. You just don't know and that wasn't my choice I had to look out for my 'friends' best interest so I became the bad guy when everyone else came out as the sane and reasonable one. All this is based on my instincts and They don't fail me. In time I have learned[my lessons] to follow my gut feeling so don't sit there and tell me I am being paranoid because I know for a fact my paranoia is on point.


I hold back so much because I don't like conflict, arguments or headbutting with people but some times even if I turn out to be at wrong I am still going to fucking say it out loud enough with my silence and trying to give people the benefit of the doubt coz I ain't getting nothing for ya'll. Yes I am not....Nothing but me sitting there for hours talking to my sister trying to figure out why all my friendships out here are so fucked up and out of the norm. Realizing how much this place and the people in it drain the living daylights out of me.




I know what it is I just let people walk all over me and I am done with it all. If you are allowed to voice your opinion and act an ass whenever you pick and chose well news flash expect the same shit right back.



I might as well get to you while I am at it. I don't like people who call themselves friends but don't act like it. Yes you know what I am talking about don't be acting like you have my back when really you are going behind my back fucking around with him. YOu thought I didn't know huh? well bitch I do. so take your friendship else where coz I don't like to associate with people that be going after some one they know I have feelings for. and shame on you for[being a guy] letting this happen and not seeing how much shit meant.


When I hit my target I hit it hard and I would like to see you pull me out of it.

I give I give and when do I ever receive? It doesn't even matter no more coz you probably have nothing but poision [ to my soul] to offer.


I will pass on all of that thank you very much.