Lucky Ducky Kiki

I am about to put my thoughts down in bullet points like assignment style with an introduction,main body then a conclusion. So here it goes.

This blog today is going to be many of my disappointments I have had in the past week or this weekend. Nothing seems to stay right or alright for long. I have so much to talk about when it comes to this whole past week but lets keep it shot(I don't want to be going on). So we are going to limit this to the food and people for now. I might end up with a third main point so deal with it.

Today I woke up not that hungry but by the time Rora decided to start her day I was starving. You know one of those days when all you can think of that one meal that will make your day well I didn't get any of that today. Nothing to eat at the dinning hall as always and nothing is open late enough when you are hungry to get something to eat...which is still in my opinion junk food. That's something I never ate back home. It makes me sick to think of the amount of stuff I eat out here that I would be found dead eating back home just because I have no other option. I miss the food at home. How healthy I felt eating what I ate. I honestly can't wait to be back home to all the good things in my life. That includes the people too.


Which gets me to my other point. PEOPLE out here...I haven't found one person out here that hasn't made me think....what the hell is wrong with Americans(sorry for the few exception). Maybe I am the odd one out. But as times goes by(if it isn't the big things its the small things) I tend to find out how much different I feel from/towards and about everyone around me. I am weary of calling people friends and getting nothing but hostility or lack of friendship from them.(which bring me back to not having that one person that I have and will always call a friend from way back). I personally expect my friends to treat me at least as much as I treat you. I don't want to be given the cold shoulder when ever you have someone else to be around. I really don't like hot and cold behavior but if that's how you treat me I will be your replica and treat you just the same. I don't like being walked all over or being treated like shit. So if you find yourself on rock roads when it comes to me...take a good look at how you have been treating me as a friend and maybe then you can find your answers. Don't act like you care(for what ever reason it might be) when you don't. I keep saying it over and over again. I don't like flip flopping, I don't don't don't want your kindness only when it fits you or when you can see that look on my face. Some times I wish I was more like Chris says I am most of the time. How he looks at me and can't tell what I am thinking. I want to be like that around everyone around me now a days because those who do tend to use it towards me in a negative way and I just agitate my nerves. I want to stay a question, mystery to people hidden and unfamiliar with. That I feel like would save me all this mind trouble.

I am looking forward to being back home...being around people that don't drain me out.