I hate it

Don't let the title confuse you. This is all going to be of appreciation and reminiscing on how things seem to be turning out.

So this is where I am in my life I don't seem to be able to hold on or let go when I need to.
Its as you have read before I stay stuck in reverse. while I am watch everything else move by.
I don't even know how to put it all out here or anywhere as a matter a fact and I am not the only one who knows this my friends see it too of how things in the past that have gone by undisclosed. The Pandora box I purposely closed to keep friendships from falling apart at the cost of mine. How now we stay up for hours talking about our mistake as if we have learned from them when we know deep down inside if we were given a second chance we would probably be the same.

Why is it that we now find the courage to admit things we should have to make it all better. Why is it that everyone saw it and we never did. why do we have to keep going through this like I am reading pages of the same book time and time and time again that I want to take out the pages and burn them one by one to end the never ending circle I seem to run around.
Gaining company but with time losing parts of me seems to be redundant
failure to communicate either by chance or choice.

If it all hasn't been said then it is not done.