Its as if thoughts occupy my head but never make it to my paper or this blog. Its been months since I have even tried. Its as if my state of emotion has to be nowhere near stable grounds before the thought even crosses my mind.
I have something I have been us sure to share but whats the point of waiting. So here it goes. I am still waiting on a feed back and this was way before the new year abruptly brought it self around. Yeah Chris I am talking about your reply I never got Mr. MIA.

Looking for Passion: What for?

I have nothing to do because I can’t think, I think too much. Blank! All I can think is live each day as it is. Blankly. Just to let the day pass. Sounds stupid, pointless. Basically, a waste of life. So what am I supposed to do, then? I am stuck on my laptop which seems to be my best bud for the most part. Feeling like I live in a world of my own that I have created which no one can understand. So I don’t share it. At times I have tried and failed with no one to relate. So I try again here and now. Just me and this pointless thing I do and share with very few. Write. Clean my iTunes, Listen to endless Aol radio, play Mahjong with the thought of what its ending might be. I do this till my head ache like crap and my vision starts to blur at the side. So I am on a quest openly now than I have been in secret in the past for a passion; But for what? A euphoric “something” in your life that puts you either in fear of not accomplishing or in sensuality of success is something you might categorize as something you are passionate about.

What then am I passionate about?

There are many activists of some sort that say they are fighting for something and tell the whole world about it. This is funny though, because real activists work underground like silent killers, silent thinkers - purely revolutionary. For years now, activists have been fighting for justice, freedom, and peace. I wonder why until now they fought for the same reasons, like a never-ending battle, a never-ending passion. We all have rebellious thoughts, but not all have rebellious passion. I simply don’t care about politics, though.

Some people are passionate about saving the planet from all the trash it is in calling themselves environmentalists, warriors of the earth fighting battles nothing like the knights of the 14^th century who went to combat on foot. But these earth freaks are so intensely immersed in their passion. I on the other hand leave my phone charger plugged in continually.

Things Fall Apart, Memoires of A Geisha, Angels and Demons, To Kill A Mocking Bird, The Alchemist… The list goes on. All in my opinion are great works of literature I have read. Writers are passionate about literature. They are people made to think, think, do more thinking and put life to books make characters based on themselves or by what they see around them. Some what God like how he created Adam and Eve. Playing out roles you have always wanted to be part of but you decide their destiny from the start, unlike your own. One thing about creating is holding the responsibility of what you create.

I see people around me filled with passion for the game. The game of ball, playing women/men, video games; all which I know nothing of. I see how they feel their dream being fulfilled every time they step on the court, playing out their thoughts feeling like they have that other someone eating out of their hand.

I thought long and hard over all this, played it in my head over and over again letting that thought linger and now that thought has been produced it’s only human nature. You might be thinking you are the only one with that certain passion but somewhere out there millions of people are too. Passion is never selfish.

I would like to be considered an artist of some sort with great passion for what I do someday. Be able to clarify my feelings and thoughts into words. Form a concoction of these words with my voice and a melody like music to the ears of the world. But for now I’ll keep searching and leave all this as it is. Passion for Passion.